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I have been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered several obstacles, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been repeatedly caught off guard by people. Her husband walked away, which came as a massive blow. Several of her social circle drifted away then, as they were focused solely on her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in greater energy to be my friend, likely understood more clearly the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

Throughout this period, quite a few in her circle vanished without her being certain of the reason. The company she worked for turned on her, even though she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened not understanding what had changed.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us left the workforce leading to more each other more, however, I feel the part I play in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce subjects only for her to redirect conversation onto what interests her. Politically, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to suggest factchecking or other angles.

She is planning a trip to a country I've visited many times even called home for some time. My intention was to provide insights, yet it was unappreciated. She purely only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I recently come back from four weeks in that country and she wants to catch up, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to act as a friend that walks away without explanation, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

One option is to cut and run, however, that approach is seldom the easy answer we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with a view to working things out requires bravery and openness from both people.

Professional advice indicates applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one requires explaining how things go in your conversations. This needs to be based on facts and essentially exactly what occurs. Next is to express the way it affects you emotionally. There should be no argument about this. Emotions are valid, of course. Finally involves requesting how the two of you going to change the interaction of your friendship."

Remember she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to not say anything for half an hour."

It's wildly impactful for promoting better communication.

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore everything, since certain individuals hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a version regarding their experiences they're unable to release because their very survival relies on it and it represents they've known. This is difficult because there's no easy route here, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might initially present defensively then consider on your words. And even if a resolution isn't found a fix, it will give you peace that you've been honest with her.